I guess I’m still in remembrance of Michael Jackson when I heard the latest load of **** coming from Bill O’Reily, but now we get to listen and watch people begin to trip. Such as the comments by a certain congressman and FOX News entertainer. But while some quickly seek only the negative I’m trying not to stoop to their level. Why should we continue to acknowledge the ignorance and insensitivity of these individuals?
Seriously, think about it. If you’re upset at me for something that I’ve said or someone said that I’ve done then that’s an indicator that you don’t fully understand who’s really trippin’. Even if it’s true, what are you doing in love to walk with me to help? This is one of the reasons why I have pulled back from attacking those who refuse or still can not comprehend the simplicity of the message I strive to offer.
You should always strive to build a rapport with people that they are comfortable speaking candidly with you, so when and/or if the occasion arise that you need to speak to them or they to you it’s understood that you do so with unconditional love.
We can not be afraid to confront wrong, because you’re concerned that the wrong you’re doing may be exposed? And if someone or you are found doing something wrong, don’t beat them over the head with political ideological, patriotic or religious condemnation. Stop damning people and start loving them. How hard is that? Don’t immediately assume that someone is doing wrong, because you don’t understand something they’ve said or have done or presently may be doing. When you embrace people for who they are instead of what you want them to be you may find yourself a new friend and a blessing to your life.
You never know who you may be helping. Regardless of how old or young you may be or the length of time you spend in church, how much you support a specific political party or ideology we all find ourselves trippin’ on people from time to time.
I’m willing to openly say that I have on many occasions. I can not stand Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove and FOX News, but when someone decides to call me some ridiculous name they feel will be offensive because they disagree with something I’ve writen or said or do it makes you wonder. You can dislike me, just as I dislike certain individuals. You can disagree with me, but just because you disagree with me doesn’t mean that you’re right.
What I’ve learned is more important is to honestly ask myself what am I doing to help? Talking about or at someone or remaining silent about what someone has done, written or said isn’t helping them. Being a true friend opens the door of opportunity to be of help to them and vice versa.
I’m not even going to say consider others, because some need to consider themselves and how they consider themselves before branching out to anyone else.
I appreciate your time and the courtesy you’ve shown to me by reading this article.
Enjoy.
6 comments
July 10, 2009 at 8:13 am
Thersites
I’ve said this before. It is difficult to carry on a conversation with someone at the polar opposite of the political spectrum because two such people truly are speaking different dialects (for lack of a better word) within the English language.
The words we use are loaded with meaning that our left/right counterparts define very differently. For example, character, virtue, rights, oppression, dignity have different meaning depending on what your worldview is.
Let’s take dignity as just one example. Judging by how they use the word and by definitions given by them, liberals consider dignity a type of psuedo-right. It is something that should be protected by law. The idea is part of the logic behind right-to-die movements and the minimum wage laws (because no one should be forced to work for an undignified wage). Conservatives, on the other hand, think of a character trait shown by poise and self-respect that you either have or don’t. It will show thru no matter what others do to you or how much you earn per hour.
But please don’t get hung up on this one example I’ve used to illustrate the point. Keep in mind that even though you might be using the same words as the other person, the meanings they attach to those words and therefore the meaning of what you say is different in their mind.
Whose fault is it? No one’s of course. We learn what words mean largely based on our experience thru the filter of our worldview. Dictionaries are useful tools but how many of us really learned the meaning of words based on reading them first in the dictionary?
So, what do we do about it? Be patient and open-minded. Realize that what you think you are saying is not what the other person is hearing. Realize that this doesn’t mean that they are insensitive, ignorant, not listening, mean, or evil. It means that they are coming from an entirely different point of view. Responding with frustration and invective will only shut down the conversation.
July 10, 2009 at 8:48 am
timvalentine
What’s up David,
Regarding your comment. True. I agree with you.
But I wasn’t speaking about politics only, but life. Many people who may agree or disagree with me politically or in some other area sometimes see an example that I may use as a strike against them. I’m only using my strong dislike of certain individuals who all are apart of one political party as an example. I’ve actually stated a few people of the same party in whom I like and respect.
What I’ve learned is that it takes people time to really understand each other. Although we may disagree on some issues I really do appreciate you coming back and sharing your thoughts, ideas and suggestions on here. It’s the main point of the blog. A place to share your TI&S. Now there are some who has truly crossed the line on many occasions with certain comments directed towards me that was unfair and unfounded, and they do tend to follow a certain ideology, but even they are welcomed if they’re at least somewhat respectful. It takes some a minute to get what I’m saying, but when they do they see I’m not as bad as I may appear to be. I believe you’re a good guy and brave one to come back here so often.
Seriously, I think you’re OK. I’ve moved away from so much emphasis on politics and looking more at the issue itself. Politicians are interesting. There some good ones who are Democrats and Republicans and other parties, but we all have some we rather smack upside their head too. I honestly believe that we’re all in this together, and together is the only way we’re going to progress. I only try to help people who are willing to listen and honestly consider what I’m saying better understand a different point-of-view. Not a Black, White, Christian, Muslim, Democrat, Republican, American, Latin or Asian point-of-view, but just considering the position of someone else in pursuit of a better understanding.
Anyway, as usual I went too long. I’m trying to work on that. Talk to you later. Enjoy, but be safe.
July 10, 2009 at 9:55 am
timvalentine
A Better Response
You know that was actually a fair assessment you made. I would modify a few things, but I understand your point. It’s one that I’ve made many times although slightly different in context. I hope you don’t view me as being against anything or anyone not like myself, because that’s the furthest from who I am. I really believe anyone can be friends regardless of the span of the differences between them. It just takes time and the proliferation of our own mistrust and misunderstanding of each other. So thank you for the comments. Lets see who else will get it.
July 10, 2009 at 10:06 am
Frank
Good dialogue by both of you. So let me add a couple of points.
Tim; While reading I was thinking about a common phrase I use, and then you finally nailed it in the last paragraph … there’s a huge difference between right-wrong and agree-disagree.
Thersites; Your point about lens each of us use to see and filter is an important part of each of our views. That’s very realistic b/c agreement generally comes from others with a similar lens, and vice versa.
On the other hand, do we really need to have a lens? Do we overemphasize or overuse the lens? Does the our lens get in the way of common ground, beneficial solutions, etc? Does the lens take away respect and dignity toward others?
In the end, which is more important: our lens or how will interact with others?
July 10, 2009 at 11:59 am
Al
Shaking my head in disbelief that a fellow human being, a member of the Family of Man cannot even earn/deserve a few minutes of common decency even in death from some quarters. Wondering aloud if a certain NY Congressman and talk-show host has ever heard of that old saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. C’mon “gentlemen”, we’re talking about someone who has suddenly passed away, Where are your manners?!
Sorry for the rant, Tim, but am still in disbelief that some people TALK about class yet seem to fail to exhibit any of their own (respect is still a two way street, and someone may want to remind Mr. O’Reilly and Mr. King of that).
Have a safe and prosperous weekend sir.
July 10, 2009 at 12:20 pm
timvalentine
What’s Up Al. You’re OK. I don’t mind the occasional rant. I do it often.
It’s amazing. Mike had his share of issues like all of us. I would hate for the world to question my every move, I’m sure someone would find something I may do or say suspicious if they don’t already.
It’s just disrespectful. We all will find ourselves walking through that same door as did Michael Jackson and many others. I just want to make sure I am stepping into the room that’s comfortable and the AC works, because the other place is a little too hot for me.
I’ve personally seen people pass away on more than one occasion and it silently explains something about life when it happens. You never forget it if you’ve witness it. If you see it enough you gain a greater respect for all life and begin to just want people to work together more than fight. Plus you realize that we truly all are essentially the same.
Al, you’ve always been nice to me. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Mine will be ridiculously busy as usual, but maybe I’ll get that nap I wanted Sunday evening for a few hours. That’s sad, I’m looking forward to a Sunday nap now. What happen?