Can I Depend on Your Vote?

Image Above:
Johanna Sigurdardottir; Prime Minister of Iceland

Many people have told me that their vote doesn’t see color, but does your vote see sexuality?

I’ve always found it interesting when people who I don’t know if they were seeking acceptance or approval by telling me they didn’t vote for President Obama because of race. I find it even more interesting of those who said they didn’t vote for President Obama, but it wasn’t because of race. I always think, if it wasn’t about race, why are you telling me that it wasn’t? Also, why is it that race isn’t attributed to White candidates as it is to everyone who isn’t? I’m not convinced by your words, but by your behavior and actions. It’s what you do and what you don’t do that is telling.

Beyond race is the question of gender and sexuality in politics. This is where I want to rest my thoughts today. I use the story of Iceland’s Prime Minister as example in asking what matters to you.

The honorable Johanna Sigurdardottir became the Prime Minister of Iceland in 2009. Prime Minister Sigurdardottir who has children from her previous (heterosexual) marriage is the only openly gay head of state.

What I found interesting about this story is the proof of Iceland’s lack of anti-discrimination hypocrisy by never publicly making an issue of Johanna Sigurdardottir’s sexuality. I say anti-discrimination hypocrisy not insinuating to practice of anti-discrimination is hypocritical, because it isn’t. I fully support anti-discriminatory practices and policies, both public and private. What makes anti-discrimination hypocritical is when those who preach it do not practice it. For any anti-discrimination practice to be true, the philosophy must be applied to all, not some.

Perhaps American in addition to the rest of the world can learn a valuable lesson from our Nordic friends in terms of tolerance and acceptance. When our consideration is allowed to roam beyond the narrow confines we apply it in our political and religious applications, then we get to see the person for who they are above what they are.

For those who have said to me that they don’t see color, but the content of a person’s character, then this is an excellent measure of your sincerity or commitment to that by considering the possibility of a future President or Prime Minister of your country being elected by the content of his/her character and not the color of their skin, religious practice or sexual orientation.

It is only my opinion, but I would expect that if a future US Presidential Candidate was honest enough to admit they were gay, I believe the powers that be would demonstrate the truth of the American dream. Their hopes of freedom and equality will essentially be publicly voted upon by those who say they are.

What if a future President or Prime Minister was openly gay, would you vote for him/her?

Do not concern yourself with the social perceptions of others. I just want you to be true. Be willing to defend your response if challenged, but only challenge with respect and consideration. It’s not about your religious beliefs or political affiliation, but your position on the boundaries of discrimination.

Work Cited
AAP, “Iceland’s gay PM weds partner “. The Age. June 28, 2010 <http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-world/icelands-gay-pm-weds-partner-20100628-zfbd.html>.

Remembering Your Commitment

In many relationships comes a time where you find yourself questioning your commitment to it. It may be a friendship, dating, marriage, professional/business and/or even spiritual. You just get tired of certain things that the other person may do or not do, say or not say, use to do or have stopped doing. The thought of divorce, separation or distancing yourself is now an idea or even being suggested.

Some may not publicly admit it, but privately you know it’s true. There is no perfect relationship. Our relationship is a commitment to an imperfect person for our ideal situations. What you tend to not consider is that we are the imperfect one in the relationship. Forever afraid of being the one in the wrong, determine to win any argument at any cost and seek sympathy for our victimization by the other person.

Marriage is often the prime example of a commitment. We go into it wide eyed, but for some reason can’t see the issues that the other has stored away and others see because we’re in love. What I’ve found entertaining is watching how long that vision lasts. I’m not hoping or believing in divorce or difficulties for the couple, but I know it’s going to occur. The measure of your commitment is how you respond when times get hard. Those reading this that has been in a relationship for an extended period of time may be able to testify to the validity of that statement.

If I am to be honest in what I write I am willing to admit that my relationships have not always been as I originally thought or think it should be. I’m fortunate to say that none were abusive or dysfunctional, but selfishness can be found within all parties. It is when one person is aware, honest and willing enough to remember their commitment to find peace.

Don’t make a habit of dwelling on the bad times more than the good times. Remind yourself why the person loves, likes or works with you and the benefit of you loving, liking or working with them.  We must stop trying to rewrite our history and focus on making history. Be the first people you know to reconcile a marriage gone sour and come back stronger than before. Be the one to forgive your parent(s) for the things they didn’t know how to do or for repeating the mistakes that was done to them over with you. Think of the person you call friend enough to see how he/she is doing after a disagreement. Go visit that person you haven’t talked to for awhile that is not doing to well today. It’s not about what was done, but what you do now.

So as I attempt to conclude this thought for this moment I want to just ask you to consider others and remember your commitment to each other. Take time to communicate with the one you are committed to. Whether that commitment is professional, personal, emotional or spiritual, give it time. Give it time doesn’t mean you wait to see what happens, it means you give your time, energy and commitment to it.

Finally, be willing to admit that you’re wrong. Yeah I thought she was pretty, I liked the way he looked at me or I felt abandoned or betrayed so I did things I shouldn’t have. Be the one to admit it and do something positive about it. In every situation everyone is not going to understand or respond in the best manner. Some relationships may end or can only be resolved with divorce, separation or distance. Just don’t allow that to govern your next relationship. Remember your commitment.

Justice is Color Blind

Didn’t we just discuss this for two weeks?

http://timvalentine.wordpress.com/2009/10/09/racistconversation5/


http://timvalentine.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/racistconversation6/

Oh I forgot, “I’m not a racist because I have Black friends” defense.

Can someone say it with me? UNCONSCIOUS RACISM

You should always be aware of the person who says, “I’m not a racist”. If you’re not a racist you don’t have to say it. Your actions will speak for you.

Summary

OK, so this is the story. A few days ago a Judge in New Orleans denied an interracial couple a marriage license on the grounds of his belief the marriage would not work, he does not believe in “the mixing of the races” and his lack of self-acknowledgement that he would be one of the people who would discriminate against any children they may have.

Details

In New Orleans, Louisiana a justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

My Comment: It’s always about sex isn’t it.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday.

My Comment: Of course not, you just have issues with race.

“I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

My Comment: WHAT! You’re kidding me, right?

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.

My Comment: Oh, well then. That’s not racist. Just because you refuse to do your job, because of race doesn’t mean you’re racist. Come on now.
Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

My Comment: Oh, so you talked about with Black people. So that doesn’t make you racist. Seriously, don’t validate your argument on the myth that Black people can’t be racist, because they can. Racism isn’t racist, because anyone can be one.

“There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage,” Bardwell said. “I think those children suffer and I won’t help put them through it.”

My Comment: This is a lie. It’s only a problem among racist.

If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally.”

My Comment: OK, I’m trying not to laugh at this one. How in the Hell do you say that with a straight face? As my sister would say, For Real Dude? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m being Punk’d right now, right? OK. You try to treat everyone equally, so you demonstrate your non-racist attitude by marrying people who are of the same race, but not marrying people who are not. I bet you do this on a Bible too. Besides disobeying the law, you’re going against the word of God. Unless your Bible reads “God is a respecter of persons”.

You’ve got to read the rest of this story for yourself. No one is forcing you to get married to someone because of social perceptions, but you shouldn’t be denied the right to get married to someone because of social perceptions.

http://www.blackamericaweb.com/?q=articles/news/the_state_of_black_america_news/13496

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/15/interracial-couple-denied_n_322784.html

*An eyebrow should be raised, but I’ll let you think about this before I get into it any further. But it’s coming. So don’t asking me, because I’m not telling.  Just keep reading.

The sad thing is that I have run across people just like this on this very blog. No matter how much you try to explain it to them, they still don’t get it.

Empathy Is Not Sympathy

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“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were. Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”  - John Donne “For Whom the Bell Tolls”

As cool it would be if it was true, I know that the world doesn’t revolve around me. I would like to believe that we would be in a better place in terms of human conditions if I ruled the world. Unfortunately this is just a fascination of my utopian dream to making the world what I believe it ought to be; Heaven.

Although this dream may not become a reality in my life time I can at least try. You can’t take it for granted or rely on the fact that you’ve never been told any differently that people will change. One can change the world if there’s one willing to try.

I’m still amazed by how so many of us have become comfortable with the lack of empathy we demonstrate towards each other. Perhaps it’s due to the busy lives we employ. Maybe it’s due to a lack of socialization or understanding. Maybe you just don’t want any trouble, so you just go along to get along. Whatever the case may be, there comes a time where your silence becomes betrayal.

When some are more eager to protest against a proposition in California than rally to end discrimination and homophobia then there’s a problem. When Christians are more concern with preventing Same-Sex Marriage than divorce, then there’s a problem.

When a woman who graduates 2^nd in her class at an Ivy-League school while overcoming economic, social and medical issues is intelligence is questioned and whether she is suitable for a position because of her life experiences, then something is wrong.

When your words are taken out of context, chopped and screwed to blend into a malicious and hateful mix promoted by culturally unaware, socially uninformed exclusionists for political purposes, then something is wrong.

The law of the life is not logic, but experience. Experience that’s been tested by obstacles and barriers, hardship and misfortune. The insistence of persistence is what ultimately overcomes those barriers. It is these experiences that allow a person to consider others and be able to relate to them on a personal level despite our apparent differences and/or opposing interests?

What is your standard?

We are here because of the aspirations, works and sacrifices of someone else. The dream that one day we can live with love, respect and concern for each other in what Dr. Martin Luther King called the Beloved Community is being foreclosed on by the unethical practices of propagandist who only seek to profit off of fear and hate.

Far too often have we found ourselves bound by the narrow confines of foolish perceptions? Whether trapped by boundless liberalism or arrested by static conservatism the results are the same; progressive stagnation.

To become what you ought to be you need to consider others. The standard for which you judge others you judge yourself, but more harshly. When you continue to put up borders in your life, the community becomes less beloved and more despised. The standard of your arguments are no longer freedom or emancipation, but obstruction and restriction.

When you reach the point that you can recognize life as just an ordinary person, blessed with extraordinary opportunities and experiences. Perhaps you will understand what empathy means. Empathy does not mean adjusting the circumstances in such a way that the “little guy/minority” wins, but to place yourself in their position. Become the little guy, experience life as he or she experiences it, before casting judgment that is tainted with bias observations and experiences.

Take the time to become friends with someone different than you. Strive to sincerely learn about someone who is not like you. Example: I’m a Black Male, so I would want to try to befriend and learn more about someone who is not Black or a male. (I can personally say with confidence that I only have one friend who is a Black male, the rest are women of various races including Black.)

You are not an island, entire of yourself. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Any man’s death whether it be physical, moral or spiritual diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. Empathy is what I believe John Donne is saying in my 21^st Century remix of a 17^th Century poem. There are no them, but only us. We should not build fences or walls, but bridges. We are the community and to make it beloved, we have to learn how to love it and each other.

References & Inspirations

John Donne – 1624 “Devotions upon emergent occasions and several steps in my sickness – Meditation XVII”

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. – 12/18/1963 “Social Justice (Speech at Western Michigan University)”

Christian Century – 04/03/1974 “Search for the Beloved Community: The Thinking of Martin Luther King, Jr.”

Not So Straight Talk Expressed

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I almost could not believe this one, because I’m generally weary of people who were closely connected to Karl Rove & George W. Bush. But I guess anyone can have a change of heart if former deputy to Karl Rove and John McCain’s 2008 Presidential Campaign Strategist can made a shocking proposal regarding gay marriage. Shocking because it’s a new position from him and those like him to take an inclusive and open-minded position on gay marriage when he has worked tirelessly against the very subject.

Mr. Steve Schmidt said…

“It can not be argued that marriage between people of the same sex is un-American or threatens the rights of others. Denying two consenting adults of the same sex the right to form a lawful union that is protected and respected by the state denies them two of the most basic natural rights affirmed in the preamble of our Declaration of Independence – Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” (Source: CNN)

I’m sure some may unintentionally argue this basic question, “What about my right to discriminate against gays?”

Well it would be un-American for anyone to prohibit your right to protest your freedoms. What would that profit anyone if I or anyone else mounted a campaign against your rights? I’m not forcing you to accept what I believe, but only exercising my right to reason. I do not want to prevent you from discriminating, because I too discriminate against ignorance, bigotry, prejudice and narrow-mindedness. So in efforts for equality I want it recorded that I am not seeking to prevent you from discriminating, just asking you who, what and why you are discriminating.

Anyone can have a change of heart and position. I too have seen the error of my ways and made conscience efforts towards truth and reconciliation. Perhaps Mr. Schmidt is seeking the same.

As one commenter suggested on an unlikely website for this sort of discussion, Mac Life.

“Some Republicans believe the period of self-examination within the party necessitated by the loss of our majority status is mostly a question of whether the party should become more moderate or conservative; I think that’s a false choice. We need to grow our coalition, but as I said, that’s hard to do if we lose some votes while gaining others.”

I find it interesting how he knows what Steve Schmidt planned to say, amazing. 

Even on ultra conservative websites such as Power Line are suspicious of this one. Finally, the left and right agree on something, although both may deny it.

References & Inspirations

NBC News: Washington – 04/17/09 “Expressly Not Straight Talk”

Salvation Army’s Harsh Love

During the holiday season you’re bound to hear the ringing sound of the Salvation Army beckoning you to have compassion for your fellow man. That’s a tough call during the difficult economic times we’re experiencing.

For Salvation Army Captain Johnny Harsh the ringing sounds of wedding bells was muted by a 50 year old Salvation Army Church doctrine that forbids officers to marry non-officers of the church.

Salvation Army’s refusal to allow love to flourish for a man who has devoted 14 years to the church simply because of a five decade old rule made me want to ring my own bell of contradiction.

How do you preach spreading goodwill, happiness and love towards others, but refuse to allow an officer in your own church organization to marry a non-officer. Perhaps you would have them to just live together instead.

“This ruling, like a lot of other things in other churches, is a man-made rule. God doesn’t look at a Salvation Army uniform.” – Capt. Johnny Harsh

References & Inspiration

ABC News – 12/07/08 “Breaking Salvation Army Tradition, Trading Career for Love”

California Proposition 8

I hope all who choose to read this keep an open mind as I attempt to explore this proposition in multiple installments.

I don’t live in California, I am a straight man, I am a Christian and I am Black. I have had the pleasure to have multiple friends who are Black, White, Latino, Gay, Straight, Male, Female, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Republican and Democrat. I love who I am and what I am and honestly cherish the diversity of relationships.

I personally know people who support and oppose Proposition 8. I wanted to take a different approach towards it.

So What is Proposition 8?

BACKGROUND — In March 2000, California voters passed Proposition 22 to specify in state law that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. In May 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled that the statute enacted by Proposition 22 and other statutes that limit marriage to a relationship between a man and a woman violated the equal protection clause of the California Constitution. It also held that individuals of the same sex have the right to marry under the California Constitution. As a result of the ruling, marriage between individuals of the same sex is currently valid or recognized in the state.

PROPOSAL — This measure amends the California Constitution to specify that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. As a result, notwithstanding the California Supreme Court ruling of May 2008, marriage would be limited to individuals of the opposite sex, and individuals of the same sex would not have the right to marry in California.

FISCAL EFFECTS — Because marriage between individuals of the same sex is currently valid in California, there would likely be an increase in spending on weddings by same-sex couples in California over the next few years. This would result in increased revenue, primarily sales tax revenue, to state and local governments.

By specifying that marriage between individuals of the same sex is not valid or recognized, this measure could result in revenue loss, mainly from sales taxes, to state and local governments. Over the next few years, this loss could potentially total in the several tens of millions of dollars. Over the long run, this measure would likely have little fiscal impact on state and local governments.

According to California election results on Tuesday, November 4, 2008 voters in California voted 52.2% (5,682,788) Yes and 47.8 (5,193,623) No on Proposition 8.

California’s Proposition 8 was approved by 70% of Black Voters voted Yes compared to 53% of Latinos, 49% of Whites and 49% of Asians. So does this mean Black people agree with Mormons and the Religious Right? Did Prop 8 oddly bring these adversaries together or did someone get played?

Finally, Black & White Christians are coming together, but why on an issue that plays on fear wrapped up in scripture. Yes, the Bible does speak against homosexuality, but it also speaks about fornication, adultery and love. Where’s the proposition on those issues?

Was Proposition 8 a test?

Now I’m just a Christian, but didn’t Jesus say something about “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” I understand your opposition and support, but if your argument against Prop 8 is based with biblical scripture shouldn’t the words of Jesus Christ found in Matthew 22:34-38 are apart of this equation too?

Why discriminate? What happen to love? Wasn’t Christ accused of homosexuality too? How did he respond and what can be learned from that?

Regardless if you were in support or in opposition to Prop 8 what will be next?

Perhaps a proposition that Black people are 2/5 of a man. Perhaps a proposition to revoke women’s right to vote. Perhaps a proposition that takes away the freedom of religion.

I’m not suggesting that I’m for or against it. I actually can understand both sides of the argument. What immediately came to mind when I listened to the arguments for and against Prop 8 was Hebrews 13.

If you decide to comment I ask that you read what I’ve written first, before submitting any name calling. I’m only expressing my thoughts, ideas and suggestions about the topic. You can make your own determinations and conclusions of where you think I stand. I know that some will only lash out, but I only want you to really think about where you stand on Prop 8 and whether you are participating in discrimination.

Are all men really created equal?

Additional References:

League of Women Voters of California Education Fund – 11/10/08 “Proposition 8”

California General Election – 11/04/08 “Proposition 8”

23/6 Political Comedy – 11/07/08 “Prop 8 Results Prove Black Christians are Just as Awful as White Ones”

The Greatest Commandment – NIV “Matthew 22:34-38”