The Biggest Financial Loser

It’s not a new reality show about who can lose the most money, but it is a reality show that many wish they did not have to play or pay.

I’m not sure where to start since this list seems to get longer as each day goes by. I’m afraid to see who’s going to be next. I will try to compile a list of the recent failed financial institutions, but please forgive me if I don’t mention them all or there’s more to add to the list by the time you are reading this.

Years ago I worked for a financial institution and the advice they gave me when I started regarding loans was that if the person can not realistically repay the loan for which they are applying for then you can anticipate that we will not grant the loan. This made sense to me, but I’m just a run-of-the-mill taxpayer.

Now if I wanted to get a loan in order to consolidate all of my debts it still wouldn’t be anywhere in the neighborhood of $700 Billion dollars, but lets say that I needed $70,000 and I go to my friendly neighborhood financial institution to apply for a loan to bail me out of this financial crisis I find myself in. The bank will look at my credit history, debts and income to determine if I would be a risk for a loan of this size ($70,000). After they reviewed my finances and how I got into this situation I’m sure that I would be able to confidently walk out without a dime in my pocket. But the same financial institutions want you (the taxpayer) to give them a loan for $700 Billion to help them out of their financial crisis.

I see that this is a risky loan, but let’s have some compassion. Although you’ve told many of us no and yes to some who clearly was a risk let’s review your financial history.

After reviewing your application I see that you have made some unwise decisions and are associated with some unsavory characters.

What is your relationship with the following individuals…?

  • Mr. Countrywide
  • Mr. IndyMac Bank
  • Mrs. Fannie Mae
  • Mr. Freddie Mac
  • The Lehman Brothers
  • Ms. Merrill Lynch
  • Mr. Wachovia
  • Mr. Washington Mutual

It appears that you’ve been very busy. We have to follow strict rules and regulations in our financial dealings. We try to observe a basic philosophy of if you can’t afford it then don’t buy it. But judging by your track record here you have made some very bad and blatantly risky decisions.

Well we’ll review your application further and take it under consideration with our Loan Review Board (i.e. The American Taxpayer) to determine if you should qualify for this loan under the conditions presented.

Are you sure you don’t have any collateral?

Well Mr. & Mrs. Wall Street we are backed up with request all the way to November 4th, but we’ll see what we can do. We are changing management soon.

$700,000,000,000.00 is a lot of money. When it’s all said and done the American taxpayer is the biggest loser.

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