Learn To Love (Part 2)

a2a_linkname=”TI&S: Learn To Love (Part 2)”;a2a_linkurl=”https://timvalentine.wordpress.com/2009/04/21/learntolove2/”;

***THE CONTINUATION OF LEARN TO LOVE***

When faced with the idea of interracial dating or marriage the first thing that runs through the person who is against it is sex. Sex isn’t everything. (Wait-a-minute, What did I just say? Hmm, well let’s roll with it.)

If we really want to get into the history of sex and race we can go there, but that leads into multiple tangent discussions of rape, slavery, the one-drop rule, completion complexes and many other ‘fun’ things. So I’ll save that for another day.

If you have been in a romantic interracial relationship you can probably relate to some if not all of the arguments that were levee against you and the relationship.

Sympathetic Argument – Some attempt to offer this argument by suggesting the social impact on the children. Now I remind you that there are no children around, just dating or marriage, but we’re already at children and the idea of sex.

I offer this position to counter this pathetic argument as an excuse for the behavior you’re exhibiting now. It is one that I’ve used in the past. ‘The child will experience rejection socially regardless of their genetic make-up. I experienced social rejection as a child up until today and my parents are of the same race, so that argument is baseless.’

The other argument has been that, I just don’t believe in it. This is equally ridiculous as the last one. I’ve countered that weak argument as simply saying ‘it’s not a religion. So what is there to believe in?’ Furthermore, if you say you ‘believe in love’, then what’s the problem?

Normally, the person is at a lost of words and excuses and goes with the preference argument. I just prefer this type of person. Now that’s an acceptable argument, but incomplete. It’s incomplete because often the person uses it as a shield to hide the fact that they their love is limited instead of limitless. Why do you put your love in a box? Furthermore, why base your preferences along racial lines?

We all have preferences. I tend to find women with short haircuts with a slight attitude, reasonable measure of culture and intelligence attractive. If you have an accent on top of that   you can expect that I’m paying you close attention, but that’s just my preference. Race actually doesn’t come into play, because this can be found in any race, even my own.

Although I can respect the notion of preferences you should examine why you choose to racially segregate yourself when it comes to love? I’m sure I may hear some valid arguments.

Usually by this time I’ve made them uncomfortable and they go finally pull out the big guns on me and use the “It’s in the Bible argument.” Personally, I love this one.

***BUT YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW TO READ THE NEXT PART***


References & Inspirations
The Washington Post – 02/13/05 “When Sexuality Undercuts a Family’s Ties
Christian Answers – Kevin James Bywater “Is Interracial Marriage Biblical?
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6 thoughts on “Learn To Love (Part 2)

  1. When people say “It’s in the Bible” to put others down, I know what I’m dealing with. It’s time to walk away and leave them to it. Discussion is futile.

    1. I enjoy hearing what they have to say, so I can learn what they’re thinking and how they think what they do. Then I start asking questions to compare how they understand and view the Bible with how I understand and view it so they see I’m trying to be fair, but seek what’s true.

  2. You gave me something to think about in this one … of course I’m not saying that the other posts don’t … ha ha! … it’s about the social rejection of kids and how you turned the tables. Well done … and I admit I’ve wondered about the effect on kids, but not as an anti-interracial excuse.

    1. Most of my opposition didn’t come from the parents or friends of the persons I may have been dating. It came from many Black people I knew. I understood there concern, but just disagreed with them. I didn’t date someone because of their race. It was purely personality and looks. MANY, MANY, MANY years ago, before I met my wonderful wife (got to cover myself) I’ve dated Black, White, German, Pacific Islander and briefly a Dominican girls. ALL of that changed when I met my beautiful wife. 🙂

      Seriously, last December I shared my experience I had during one relationship with my last girlfriend, before I met my wife and why I tend to strongly defend or promote diversity. I think it was near the end of the year. Anyway, thanks for reading. That invite is coming soon.

  3. Sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with–emotions just take off and run. I don’t have a problem who date/marry outside their race. As long as you are happy, that is what matters. I believe our backgrounds and upbringing (to some extent) have a lot to do with the type of person we are attracted to though. I also think that the “familiar” is comfortable. I don’t have a problem with black men who date white women or vice versa. It does ruffle my feathers a bit when I hear black men say they only want to date only white women because black women or “x, y, z, blah, blah, blah…”–whatever the usual stereotypes are. I think it’s sad that someone would “settle” for someone who is not really the right person for them because they can’t see beyond what they are familiar with.

    1. I completely understand. I’ve actually only dated two women who were white, the rest that wasn’t Black was a German for a very short period of time, a Pacific Islander for a short period of time and another girl. All of these were a very long time ago all were over 15 and more years ago. When I did date them it was never because of race. I think I dated various races is because I was around so many different people. When I was in high school 20 more years ago I went to the most diverse HS in the state, which tells much of the story of why I have little issue with race. I think we had over 50 different races and nationalities attending.

      But this was really a very long time ago for me. At least in terms of romantic relationships. I think I’ll have to write someone about romantic Interracial Relationships soon. That should be fun.

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