DAD:The Dispensation of Adolescence Development

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The Dispensation of Adolescence Development:

Essentially, this is an unnecessary elaboration of discussing the privilege and appreciation I have of being a father.

My intentions are always to seek a common and respectable understanding and appreciation of each other. To acknowledge our differences with mutual admiration and appreciation is to understand that we are more similar than we are different. Love who you are and your heritage, honor, respect and consider the heritages and traditions of others. This is not just a message I attempt to convey within a blog, but a lesson I strive to teach to my son and soon-to-be-daughter by example.

A father of any race, religion, creed, age or culture can relate to the issues of another father regardless of who they are, because we’re men. The disapproving look you give your son when he’s doing something he knows he’s not supposed to do is universal. Our responses may be difference in practice, but the result is very similar; “BOY! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” The fiery you have if some pervert tries or hurts your daughter is the same. “I’M GOING TO BEAT THE … OUT OF THIS…” because that’s your little girl and you love her, color doesn’t enter the equation. Real fathers would rather die protecting their family than seeing them hurt.

As a father I often find myself referencing my own experiences with my father. Those who are fortunate to have a father that plays an active and visible role in your life should consider this day a blessing. You have another opportunity to express how much you love and cherish the man who is your Daddy.

Although my father doesn’t have to feed, clothes and provide for me any longer, he continues to play a valuable role as my primary mentor, reference source and life’s teacher. I strive to emulate the positive attributes of my father and improve upon what I felt was mistakes to my son today. My only regret is that I don’t spend as much time with him as I would like. He’s very busy and I am too. But his presence is always near as I journey through this thing called fatherhood.

On this day many people celebrate Father’s Day in some manner. For some it is in memory, for others it may be in spite, but I hope by the end of the day it is in love or with closure.

As a Dad you tend to get some pretty messed up gifts. Mother’s get the nice gifts and all the hoopla. Whatever. If it wasn’t for the guy there you wouldn’t be a mother, but I digress. 🙂

We tend to get brown socks, not the Cleveland Driver or that certain pitching wedge (hint) as gifts. Our gifts are the standard ties, shirts with #1 Dad or even a pair of tube socks, not the $$$ power tool we really wanted. I won’t give him any grilling utensils or lawn accessories.  Most of the men reading this who are fathers can testify to receiving at least one gift they didn’t want and if not, well today is Father’s Day so you still have time.

Anyway, what I’m going to offer my father is my unconditional time, love and respect. I’m going to intently listen to him how I did when I was little. Back then my father was the smartest man in the world. As I got older I learn that there were some things he didn’t know, when I became a teenager I ‘knew more than he did’, now I realize that I was right in the first place. He is the smartest man in the world.

In my case, my father is a pastor and currently responsible for a religious organization in addition to a local church. So I may do the “Preacher” thing and go visit the sick, those in prison or may be going to prison, visit a local school or cheer those who need counseling for a day, but I may find myself answering the phones or even at my parents house cutting the grass. If so, that’s fine with me, as long as he’s happy.

Fathers are not promised. Fathers are often the undervalued and unrecognized commodity of the family. Fathers are important, even if some choose not to acknowledge this fact. The presence of a father is valuable in the development of any child. Mothers often try and some do a decent job, but the presence of Daddy is priceless.

Some men and women may have difficulties embracing this due to unfortunate circumstances, events and experiences with their father or lack of a father. I would not be honest if I said I can relate, but I can empathize with the hurt, sorrow and/or contempt you may have. All men are not qualified to be fathers, often because they too were hurt, lost or have contempt of their father. If this is you and you’re a father I just ask you to do all that you can to not repeat the mistakes your father may have done to you with your child. Your son or daughter will appreciate you even more once they learn of the struggles you’ve overcame in raising them.

To those of you who are fortunate enough to still have your father accessible take the time to love him. Forgive the mistakes he’s made and appreciate his successes and efforts. Being a father is not easy. I know some guy better say Amen to that. Just like being married, somehow it’s always your fault. The man who steps up to be one, show him some love and appreciation. You’ll never realize what he may have sacrificed for you and your family.

I guess that’s all I have to say about that. Tell your Daddy or the man who was like a Father to you that you love and appreciate him. You never know when it may be the last time.

Learn to Love.

Happy Father’s Day.

Tim Valentine; Father/Son

My Father’s Day Gift Ideas:

*I’ll settle for your thoughts, ideas & suggestions or even friendship, since none of those things have warranties. One more note: This post actually has very little to do with race, I just wanted a title that would catch your attention.*

6 thoughts on “DAD:The Dispensation of Adolescence Development

  1. I hope you had a good one, man. 🙂

    This day is tough. I lost my dad in ’95 and there’s not one day I don’t wish he was here to have all the answers like he always did.
    Mom started pulling old stuff out and she got a little depressed. They were married for 52 years. She has never really been the same since.

    We understand mortality. We do not fear the inevitable.
    But when you have such a rock to lean on for so many years the void that’s left can never really be refilled.
    Today my heart goes out to those who no longer have a father to look up to. As well as those who never really did such as my nephew.

    I wish everybody could have a dad like mine was.

    Regards, buddy.

    1. I know days such as this can be difficult when the one you love is no longer amongst us. I’m the same way with my Granny around my birthday, when she died and the day after Christmas when it would be her birthday.

      There’s nothing that I or anyone else could say to make it easier, so I offer my friendship (as burdensome it may be). 🙂 Man you know I always got your back. You’re a good guy.

      Maybe my next post will get people going again. I haven’t made anyone upset with me for a few days now. I think I’m losing my touch. 🙂

    1. 😀 Thanks.

      I didn’t get the Cleveland Wedge I wanted, but I wasn’t really expecting it. I was surprised with a golf lesson at a local golf course. I’m still fairly new to the game, but got the fever for sure. That was unexpected. I was looking forward to the brown socks or ugly tie that I would only wear once or twice, or begin the quest for that ‘perfect shirt’ that goes with it. 🙂

  2. Hey hey hey … a golf lesson is both a pleasant surprise AND better than a new pair of brown socks! Well, that is assuming one didn’t need socks. 🙂

    1. 🙂 Yeah I have a pair of brown socks, although my wife somehow ‘misplaces’ one of my socks each time we wash clothes. I think she does it on purpose, but I can’t prove it yet.

      I never been to this course. I’ve seen the signs, but have to MapQuest it. I guess I’ll have to go ahead and get that certain pitching wedge I’ve held out on.

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