Accepting The Unacceptable

As I continue my discussion on race, racism, prejudice, bias and bigotry I want to address your two options; a choice to hate and the decision to love.

Those who choose to hate are usually irrational by nature and typically do not listen or consider reasonable discussion regarding who, what or why they hate. The core of the hate often is derived from the following: (1) a misunderstanding, miscommunication or misinterpretation, (2) a lack of interaction, socialization or experience, (3) an adherence to tradition or heritage.

As I’ve said on many occasions, hate is not the exclusive characteristic, attribute or property of a single group, religion or ideology. Hate is found within every group, religion and ideology. No one or no thing is infallible.

The problem is how those who have decided to love have naively attempted to convince these people of their errors through reasonable dialogue. We make the mistake of assuming that both are open to rational discourse, when the reality is that one is rational and the rational of the other is altered.

The most effective way is to consider the logic or illogic of the hater. People who choose to hate believe their actions are justified and they typically find little reason to change.

Even when they commit acts of violence because of their belief that what they have done is justified, we must seek to understand why. This doesn’t mean we accept, endorse or act passively towards their actions. Everyone must be held accountable for their own actions. But if we in return only perpetuate the cycle by creating new victims, we are essentially restarting a new generation of haters. An eye for an eye leaves both people blind; someone has to demonstrate responsibility, civility, decency, accountability and justice.

In the U.S. the usual targets of hate, whether it is intentional or unconsciously have been Blacks, Jews, Muslims, Latinos, Arabs, Women and Homosexuals. But is it fair to exclude Whites and Men?

When you think about it, who is the most hated, mistrusted and suspicious among those who are targeted by hate; White Men.

I’m not justifying the actions of anyone, but as someone who is among the hated groups I try not to do what is done to me. Conscious hatred is just as harmful as unconscious hatred, if not worse.

As I conclude I want to suggest to those serious about considering others who do not like wasting my time on inconsiderate people to think about this one thing. It will be a waste of time if you do not take the time to really consider other view points. It doesn’t mean you have to accept or endorse the opposing view. When you do so it allows you to understand each other better and work towards a solution. A solution will not be possible if we can not consider one another.

To considering each other often means being open minded enough to accept the unacceptable in order to help them see why it is unacceptable. It is neither easy, nor fun and you may give up like I have on occasion. But if you decide to love those who choose to hate in a loving manner and with loving persistence, they will eventually they to will find love hard to resist.

Considering others is a process.


2 thoughts on “Accepting The Unacceptable

  1. Hate is such a strong word … especially when it comes to people. Well … I can accept it more in sports. 🙂

    Nonetheless, I try to control my use of the word, thus try to disagree or disapprove, etc when appropriate. After all, we can disapprove while accepting. Thus I wonder if acceptance with disapproval is the benchmark point between love and hate.

    Good post Tim.

  2. “Hate” is a strong term.

    But I do hate. That’s a fact.
    Personally, I choose not to lie to myself by re-wording my “hate” as “disdain” or “dislike”.
    That’s not what it is. It’s hate.

    And I hate the Right Wing with every last drop of fury I can muster.

    Maybe God will forgive me. Maybe He won’t.
    It is what it is.

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