Death of High Expectations

Written By: Timothy A. Valentine


A heart, mind or spirit open to forgiveness, tolerance and consideration helps make love; along with a sincere service to patience, grace, humility and respect.

We all experience disappointments in life, but some of the greater and hardest things in life we may need to face and accept is when our expectations are not fulfilled by those we look up to; honor, regard, esteem and respect.

It’s not so much the disappointment, but how we address the disappointment. Sometimes we address disappointment like it was the death of high expectations, mourning the lost of respect that are based upon our opinions and expectations. We all need to be careful of this; a lesson I’ve learned.

Instead, we should approach the disappointment with caution. Take the opportunity to mourn, it’s OK to be hurt or disappointed, but do not continue to relive and revisit the disappointment. Embrace the opportunity to forgive.

I feel that it would be wise to simply let the previous statement sit for a moment so you can dwell on it. The power of forgiveness is something many people are not still enough, peaceful enough, patient enough to fully understand or analyze. We rather do other things. We don’t have the time. So forgiveness is neglected and resentment is nourished. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but necessary if you seek love.

Like many others whose disappointments were greater than mine, I too have had my disappointments. I can deal with the lies and assumptions people may have about me, but it is when they engage in character attacks that causes me to shut them up or down.

What hurts is when it comes from people who are close to you. Those individuals who know your character and have had the time to see it. When someone who you’ve looked up to for any amount of time in your life lets you down in such a way, it is often difficult to forgive and easy to resent. I had to check myself with my own words and put the unrealistic high expectations to death and be willing to forgive with sincerity.

I just don’t write or talk about it, I honestly strive to live it. May not always get it right, but that’s the wonderful thing about waking up each day; you’ve been granted another opportunity to get it right.

We must work more diligently in our practice and incorporation of tolerance. We all fail, but we only become a failure when we choose to give up.

Our mentors, leaders or heroes may let us down. It’s difficult explaining the pressures, stresses, situations, issues and experiences to those who look up to you. Generally, most will not relate and will lean towards their own understanding and comforts as they mourn the death of what is essentially a high expectation.

How many are willing to use the occasion of disappointment as an invitation to become a hero to your hero?

Become a mentor of a different sort to your mentor by addressing a failure or disappointment with a heart, mind or spirit open to forgiveness. Demonstrate the same measure of patience, tolerance and consideration towards them as they did towards you that you were unaware of. Instead of cursing them in some way, bless them by way of your sincerity of service, be patience, extend grace, live with humility and respect who they are beyond what you made them out to be.

The death of our high expectations is what delivers us from a life of resentment, animosity and such great disappointments. It leads us into acceptance and consideration. It helps up make reasonable lofty goals and obtainable high standards.

No matter the disappointment, don’t give up easily. Be willing to try again. Sometimes your heroes may disappoint you, but become their hero in the way you accept them and their faults, mistakes and transgressions just as they accepted yours.

Last point. Some will think you’re crazy, while others may not say anything while they doubt you in some way. Don’t worry about it. No matter how much they mock, laugh, taunt, ignore, dismiss or misunderstand you, love and forgive them. Be patient and tolerant. Most of all, keep moving forward.


Thank You 🙂