There Is No Damn Santa Clause

I would like to share an argument I had with two women about Santa Clause in CVS. Normally I would not entertain this, but this was just ridiculous, funny and interesting at the same time.

Disclaimer — Now I already know I’m going to make someone upset for this one. When or if you decide to offer me your comments I ask for you to refrain from the Scrooge comments, because Ebenezer Scrooge has nothing to do with this. I also do not want to hear the argument that it’s just a fairytale, what’s so bad about that? It’s a lie, untruth, fib, story, false statement, myth, the opposite of factual.

For those who still have something to say I offer this to you. In the end you can believe whatever you like. I don’t have an issue with anything you do or say to children as long as it doesn’t harm them. The truth may hurt but it doesn’t harm.

So the objective of the post is simply to encourage those who subscribe to the tale of Santa Clause to stop perpetuating a story that has been proven to be untrue. If you believe in Santa Clause maybe you will find Bin Laden sitting on a stack of WMD’s with Elvis, 2Pac and the Easter Bunny.

And Here We Go.

Now I’m in CVS minding my own business. I was thirsty and wanted to buy cheaper bottle water than the $1.25 one in my building. Since CVS is just across the parking lot I just stroll on over there with change in hand.

While I was in the checkout line a lady asked me if I had any children. I told her I had a four year old son. So she sparkled up and asked me, “What is Santa Clause getting your child for Christmas?” I smiled to myself and said, “Nothing”.

Now you can imagine the confused or shocked stare I receive. You can tell she was thinking of the politically correct words to use when she said, “Oh! So do you celebrate Kwanzaa?” I respond with a smirk and say “No, I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.” Now she’s really confused, so I let her off the hook a little.

“We celebrate Christmas. I decided not to lie about Christmas to my son by telling him some story about Santa Clause.” (If there was a soundtrack for our lives this is where you would hear “Wanna Be Startin’ Something” by Michael Jackson)

By that time the cashier overheard our conversation and joined in to beat up on how bad of a parent I am.

I asked them a very simple question, “Why should I lie to my child?”

They couldn’t give me an answer. What they offered was excuses. One was that Santa Clause is a fairytale. I told them that the cat and the fiddle was a fairytale, but it is obviously impossible for a cow or anyone else to jump over the moon.

The cashier said that it keeps them innocent. I asked her how lying preserves innocence.

This nonsense went on for about 5 minutes, before I decided that I needed to end it.

I concluded with this statement. “I had no problem and can not tell you to what to teach your children. I have no reason to believe that you love your children any less or more than I love my son. I’ve resisted getting upset over this conversation, because it’s funny if you think about it. I know that I’m not a bad parent, but that’s for my son to judge. I do not see any reason to lie about something that isn’t real.

If you think he needs a Santa Clause, then I am Santa Clause minus the red suit and rosy cheeks. Until someone can offer up a valid reason to lie to your child or children about Santa Clause then there is no damn Santa Clause.