Do what makes for peace. You can begin by limiting or eliminating the chaotic people in your life. If they are family, neighbor or coworker, simply limit your time with them. Be nice, but handle them with caution. Peace is your responsibility. You’ll never have it if you don’t make it a habit. Do what makes for peace and enjoy your day. When you do, you’ll learn who comes in and with peace. Embrace them.
Courage vs. Bravery
Courage comes from the Latin word cor, meaning heart. Courage is demonstrating the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere and withstand danger, fear or difficulty. Bravery is simply defined as a quality or state of being. Most can see how the two are connected, but allow me to share how they are different.
To be brave, you must have courage. Bravery isn’t needed to demonstrate courage.
Many of us are brave, but not many demonstrate courage when it is needed, desired or required in our lives. It’s difficult to share the story of who you are with others sincerely because we expect their condemnation and disapproval. We choose to share who we are with those who are like us in some way or may have had similar experiences. This allows us to be brave without much fear.
Those who have the courage, the faith to take the first step, demonstrate courage. To be authentically you with people not like you, people who publicly claim to hate or disagree with what you are more than considering who you are takes courage. When you can let go of what you and/or others say you should be and begin to walk into who you are and can be, you not only demonstrate courage, but also your faith. Have the courage to go beyond the narrow definitions and emotions we place on things, words, yourself and one another. Take a step forward.
Embrace who you are, but don’t become anchored by it. Who you were years ago isn’t what you are today. Just like time, we too must keep moving forward. Everything in your life doesn’t require certainty; it needs your courage, it needs you to be brave, it needs you to have some measure of faith. You can get through it.
Consider the day that we may live where neither you nor I are blamed or blaming, but demonstrating the courage and bravery that accepts responsibility. Stop pretending that what you say, what you may do, nor the things you say and think doesn’t matter, because it does. It is what help you’re your perceptions and encourages your interactions.
Understand that what matters. You matter. They matter. I matter. We matter. Allow yourself to be seen, not by boasting, pretending or exaggerating yourself to be more, less or aligned with what everyone else is doing. Be brave enough to share with others what it takes to be you by demonstrating the courage to let them know it’s alright for them to be themselves.
Teachable Moments
Teachable moments can turn into lessons learned. Use your time wisely by taking the time to studying the essence and behavior of what and who you need to know.
Live On Purpose
The moment you begin to live on purpose, nothing anyone say, think or do will matter. The joy you gain when you live on purpose will be like a train going downhill; nothing can slow it down or stop it from reaching its destiny. When you begin to live on purpose, money can’t satisfy you, accolades won’t move you, prestige doesn’t persuade you and people or circumstances will not hold you. You’re like a train going downhill. Whether it appears you’re lower than low or riding high, living on purpose will only take you higher. Live today on purpose.
When you live in your purpose you discover this joy that’s like a fire within. Your haters, doubters and persecutors will say and do things to dampen your spirits and steal your joy, but when you live in your purpose there’s nothing they can really do except hate, doubt and talk about you.
There’s a verse from a song I was taught as a kid that says, “…this joy that I have, the world didn’t give it to me. The world didn’t give it and the world can’t take it away.” I understand that joy even moreso today. I understand it in midst of challenges and trials. It’s the reason why I can still smile with no money, because I know what it feels like to have nothing and have nothing promised to come my way. I know that I have a promise; today is the opportunity I have to redeem that promise and live on purpose.
You don’t have to be like me, because there’s something within you that receives what I’m saying, even if it isn’t proper grammar, you understand it without explanation. I’m simply speaking to your purpose. It’s what your eyes can’t physically see, what your ears may have never heard, but your conscious understands. I’m not saying anything you don’t already know, I’m just encouraging you to live in it. Live on purpose.
It doesn’t matter the color of your skin, the amount of education you’ve obtained, how much money you have or don’t have, nor whether you believe what I believe. What matters is what you believe, what you do and most importantly what you’re open, willing and actively seeking to give others. Your purpose is bigger than your circumstances, issues or perceptions. Recognize your purpose and live it.
You have purpose. You have a mission. You have a promise. You matter. Live on purpose.
Grateful for Today
Your body may be tired, but do what allows your soul rest with no doubt or question. Give fear, anxiety and hate no place, no room to live in your life. Allow love, consideration and respect to take root. Let your faith help it grow so that nothing that may come against your tired body can prosper. Never give up. Keep moving forward. I’m thankful for this day.
Your Success Is On The Way
Have sustainable success by having a mentality that is sustainable for success. You remember the names of winners and soon forget those they defeated. Success is obtainable, but is not always sustainable. People who sustain success seem to gravitate towards those who possess or indicate a similar mentality sustainable for success. You’ve learned how best to utilize your time by not arguing with people. You try to help, contribute, educate or lend support to them, but only if they show that they’re receptive.
The reasons being is that you’ve found your joy, your peace, what works for you and you’re not trying to have anyone get you off course. You choose to walk by faith, but they decide to walk by sight. Seeing is believing might be true, but it all depends on your vision and what steps you’ve taken in that purpose. So if you have a dream, live it. Stop talking and listening to people who rather stay asleep; your success depends on it.
Sustainable success requires a renewed mentality, a focused vision and self-control. This means you let no one, not your parents, siblings, spouse, children, other family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers, classmates, your circumstances, upbringing, your finances, education, social perceptions, race, gender, spiritual beliefs, age, disability, what your are, where you live or even your past failures and mistakes get in your way of your success.
See… Sigh… I’m really not trying to preach, but this is something I’ve become passionate about. I know how it feels not to be believed, considered, accepted or trusted for little to no reason at all and still the outcomes proves you were right. I would love to share my story with you, but I’ve been burned too many times to freely share it anymore and with anyone.
Everyone, not matter how close they are to you or how much alike they are to your experiences or even how nice they are will understand what has made you who you are. I want you to understand that there’s a plan for success in your life, but it’s up to you to receive it, apply it and maintain it. Trust me I know the fear, it was an unwanted guest in my life for far too long. It was when I realize that fear was what was robbing me blind of my joy that I kicked it out. I just want my neighbors to know that it’s in the neighborhood and to not be deceived.
Success is in your future. Don’t let it be disrupted by anything or anyone reminding you of your past or suggesting that your present circumstances will never pass. You will succeed and I will cheer you along the way. We can laugh about the stumbles, trips and falls along our way. The point is not to quit. Success is waiting.
Success has pathology and Failure has pathology. Your steps have been ordered for success, but it’s up to you to get up and go towards it. Stop listening to those who don’t care about you. Find your path and start walking. Don’t Give Up. Keep Moving Forward. We’re going to make it. Let’s go.
Brand New
Make what you wear new today a new attitude, a new outlook, a renewed spirit that the blessing is within the opportunity of the day. Make the best of it by walking in it by faith and not by sight. You can make up the outside, but if what’s inside hasn’t been renewed, how fresh, how clean can you be?
Dating Isn’t For Mating
Dating isn’t for mating, but for data. You date to gather enough data so that you may be informed of a decision regarding mating. Too often we, both men and women, mate with insufficient data. Then we find ourselves angry, frustrated, upset and hurt because we didn’t receive the results we were experiencing.
You wanted Mr. Right, but found Mr. Right Now. He said all the things you wanted to hear, but he never spoke to your spirit, the essenence of who you are. He got you to believe that intimacy was physical instead of both of you connecting mentally, emotionally, spiritually. So now you find that you just got…
Every man who fits the description of Mr. Right in your mind may not be that man all the time. Isn’t every relationship perfect and ideal in the beginning?
Be patient enough to collect the data in a friendly, non-confrontational and considerate manner before mating. Watch your tone and approach, because Mr. Right might be in front of you, but how you respond and react to him pushes him away. Remember, Mr. Right isn’t Mr. Perfect, so stop expecting perfection unless you are perfect yourself.
You love Mr. Right through intimacy. Intimacy isn’t received just through sex or physical touch, but with words and action.
Men — Pay attention to who they are. Be present when they need you, whether present physically, virtually, telephonically or in however you correspond. Intimacy is what makes love, not sex.
Not every man, nor every woman understands how to love or to be loved if their isn’t enough data. Some women and men are afraid to be loved because someone else didn’t know how to love them or they didn’t have enough data on them or their perspective and experiences regarding love. So take your time. Give her time. Give him time. Learn to be a friend before deciding on being a mate. Gather the data. But remember that dating isn’t for mating, but for data. Enjoy yourself and be yourself. That’s how love finds its way.
Lighter Load
When everyone who you thought would be with you have abandon you or made themselves scares and difficult to contact, remember that they’re making your load lighter and easier to bare by reducing the dead weight of their relationship with you. Although it may be disappointing, comes as a shock or leaves you feeling betrayed, keep moving forward. Someone greater has been walking with you this whole time. Move these three to the front of your journey and let them help you navigate your way.
You Are Enough
With shame, you will never have or be enough. You can’t allow shame to guide you, because it will always lead you off-course. Never consider those who tries to shame you. Their disapproval doesn’t make you who you are. No matter what it may be that someone said or thought about you, no matter what mistakes you’ve made, do not allow that to render you useless. Keep moving forward because you are enough.
For more quick thoughts, consider following me on twitter @timvalentine
Dream Again
What should you do when your dreams are deferred and/or does not come true? Dream Again.
Stop giving up so easily because it didn’t work the first, second or fifty-seventh time. Get up, because there’s nothing to be ashamed of for putting forth an effort. Your failures teaches you what didn’t work, failed people use your failures to encourage you to stop trying, no matter how persuasive or subtle they may be.
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.“
- Harriet Tubman
It may be all a dream. You may be only looking at the success of those in the magazines, but whether your dream is to become an Academy Award Actress, a Supermodel, a Congressman, Business Owner or even a dream to just teach the world what makes for peace. Forget your naysayers, the doubt peddlers and cynics. They’re living out their dream as being the killer of yours. What you got to do is to not allow them to slow you down or blur your vision; press towards the mark.
In the sermon, “Unfulfilled Dreams”, Dr Martin Luther. King spoke of Gandhi’s desire to unite India but Gandhi died with the country split. In the same message he spoke of David’s dream of building the temple, but David died before the work was complete. If you consider the enduring works of Medgar Evers, Malcolm X and Dr. King, each assassinated before their dreams were anything close to be realized.
When you share your dreams, desires, hopes and aspirations with others, understand not everyone has the eyes to see it and others has nothing in them to even feel it.
Observe the language and attitudes of people that you called friends, family members, certain Supreme Court Justices, political parties, religious groups and their opposition and you wonder like Langstan Hughes with the question that asks, “What happens to a dream deferred?”
“The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change.”
- Maya Angelou
You have what it takes. Your dream may not be my dream, but a dreamer recognizes a dreamer and dreams with them.
So I encourage you to go get it. Keep dreaming the dreams. Dreams only become reality when you have the mind and courage to dream it. I know it is difficult and frustrating, but don’t give up.
Dream Again. If you don’t mind, I’ll dream with you.
Live Today
Any day you live discouraged, hateful and regretful is a day wasted. Make today better than any other by taking a step towards a better tomorrow. You survived yesterday. Now live your best day today.
Capacity
Your capacity to receive is only as big as your capacity to give. So the question is how big are you?
Uncompariable
Stop comparing things that are uncompariable, such as people. If you’re wonderfully and uniquely made, what is there to compare?
You may not realize it, but the same comparison will find its way back to you in a terrible, but mundane way.
I Won’t Complain
Approximately 148,000 people die throughout the world each day. Be grateful that you are reading this statistic because you’re not one of them. If you ever need a reason not to complain, remember this reality and have a good day.
